Showing posts with label marriage tips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage tips. Show all posts

Rules for a happy marriage

Rules for a happy marriage:


  • Forgive
  • When times get rough,relax
  • Find the lesson 
  • Honour each other
  • Show gratitude
  • Stay present
  • Assume the best 
  • Be kind and generous
  • Encourage and compliment 
  • Don't bring up the past 
  • Communicate & Trust 
  • SAY I LOVE YOU 

Great Marriage Story


My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.
Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.
I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.
One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.
“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?”
Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?” He said :” I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.
I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes…. My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..” This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.
“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.
You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face… Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. ”
My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk… I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….
Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…
That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.
Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… and that’s our life… Love, not words win arguments…

Happiness in marriage is....


"Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. In the Art of Marriage, the little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say ‘I love you’ at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon; it should continue through all the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have the wings of an angel. It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding rooms for things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner."
Paul Newman’s letter to his wife on their wedding day

Thoughts on Marriage

Here are Harold B. Lee’s thoughts on marriage:

The ideal partner may not exist. The ideal man or woman of your dreams that you plan one day to select as your life's companion very likely really doesn't exist, although you may think so when you fall in love, for your ideal is probably a composite of the best qualities you have observed in any number of your choice associates.

Resolve to sacrifice for each other. If [young people] would resolve from the moment of their marriage, that from that time forth they would resolve and do everything in their power to please each other in things that are right, even to the sacrifice of their own pleasures, their own appetites, their own desires, the problem of adjustment in married life would take care of itself, and their home would indeed be a happy home. Great love is built on great sacrifice, and that home where the principle of sacrifice for the welfare of each other is daily expressed is that home where there abides a great love.

Wives and husbands need love to be happy. What is our relationship with our wife? Someone has said the opposite of love is not hate; the opposite of love is apathy. And I say to you brethren, the most dangerous thing that can happen between you and your wife or between me and my wife is apathy—not hate, but for them to feel that we are not interested in their affairs, that we are not expressing our love and showing our affection in countless ways. Women, to be happy, have to be loved and so do men. Someone has said that little children soon outgrow their love or their need for the love of a mother, but husbands never do. We need that, but we have to give love; we have to express love to our wives if we expect it in return.

Developing love in marriage takes effort. In answer to the teenage daughter who asked: "Mother, how do you fall in love?" the wise mother had answered: "My darling, you don't fall in love, you must keep working at it all the time." Yes, love is like faith, it isn't something you can capture today and it will remain with you always. It must be nurtured day after day by a husband who continues to "court" his wife after marriage by studiously trying to do the things that will make her happy. Someone has aptly said that "a woman happy with her husband was better for her children than a hundred books on child welfare." The flame of romantic desire in marriage is fanned each day by a wise companion who wins her man every day she lives with him. Marriages are not successful merely because these couples have fewer problems than others, but they are successful because, when problems come, as come they will, a husband and wife sit down together to solve their problems like grown-up, mature individuals, rather than with the immaturity of adolescence.

A wife should sustain her husband. Several years ago when Sister David O. McKay, the wife of our President, was in the hospital, I called to see her just after the President had been there, and she said in her sweet way, "You know, I think he misses me." And I replied, "I am sure he does." Then she said with a smile, "I have always tried to be where I thought he needed me the most." There you are, you sisters, try to be where you feel your husbands need you the most.

Wives, have your family prayers, even when you must take the lead. See that your husband takes the lead in that, if you can. See that he attends his priesthood meetings, that he responds to the call to do home teaching, and then do everything you can, lovingly and patiently, to help him to perform and magnify his duties".
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What springs to mind is: “As I have loved you, love one another” (John 14:15). That holds true for all relationships we have. The Saviour is our perfect example of how to love.

....and Spiritually Speaking: Be Grateful to be a Woman!

....and Spiritually Speaking: Be Grateful to be a Woman!: "Each of you should be grateful to be a woman! Self-pity is always a sad thing to see and especially when there is no justification for it....

One for the Husbands


Gordon B. Hinckley:
“You men who are husbands of wives, how great is your responsibility to be good men, to be good husbands! Never abuse your wives. Never abuse your children. But gather them in your arms and make them feel of your love and your appreciation and your respect. Be good husbands. Be good fathers. Don’t you ever forget that if you ever go to the highest degree of glory in the celestial kingdom, you will go hand in hand with your wife. You will not go alone. If you go, you will go together. She is a daughter of God, just as you are a son of God, and deserves the very best that you can give. Love, appreciate, and be true to the one you married”.

Read more: http://spirituallythinking.blogspot.com/2010/06/one-for-husbands.html#ixzz1l2whaceC

Equal Partners

President Marion G. Romney taught: “[A husband and wife] should be one in harmony, respect, and mutual consideration. Neither should plan or follow an independent course of action. They should consult, pray, and decide together. … Remember that neither the wife nor the husband is the slave of the other. Husbands and wives are equal partners”.

A Relationship that last

"A relationship that lasts is one with Christ in the center. Two people putting God first, seeking Him in every way possible, in order to be as good a spouse as one can be. It’s about trusting in one another and trusting God’s plan, that He will build your relationship into one that will last for eternity."

Foundation of Marriage by Pst.Daniel Hanafi

Today is a good day,walaupun awalnya tadi pake dibuat buru buru dan emosi jiwa -.- i decided to attend marriage talk by one of the greatest and funniest Pastor i've ever met! Pst Daniel Hanafi from Ifgf Gisi LA.Dikirain orangnya ngebosenin,soalnya uda setengah tua gitu hehehe...but i'm totally wrong!!!


Here are some important notes from his sermont this morning

*Dasar Pernikahan:

>Ibrani 13:4 "Hendaklah semua orang penuh hormat terhadap perkawinan..."

>Efesus 5:22 "Hai Isteri,tunduklah kepada suamimu seperti kepada Tuhan..."

>Efesus 5:24 "Hai suami,kasihilah isterimu sebagaimana Kristus telah mengasihi jemaat..."

>Marriage is about give and receive

>The foundation of marriage is unconditional love and acceptance

>Pernikahan itu sebuah institusi,you can't make your own rules.yang tidak sempurna akan dirubah semakin hari makin sempurna

>Seorang istri harus mendukung suami dengan kata kata yang membangun.sikap yang menghormati

>you need to figure out what kind of culture in your family

>Pria membutuhkan hormat,wanita membutuhkan kasih

>Pria bisa dimotivasi hanya dengan hormat

>Jangan mengomeli pria,karna dia merasa ngga dihormati

>Women confronts to connect
Men thinks that she confronts to control
Men withdraw to avoid conflict
Women think that he is unloving

>Marriage grows by grace

Be blessed!